Relentlessly Craving.

Someone take pictures of me that make me look cool!

Thu, 23 May 2013 22:55:53 -0400

Someone take pictures of me that make me look cool!

atomiclanterns: When we stopped fucking in bed but instead hunched over like the sick on the side...

Thu, 23 May 2013 22:47:37 -0400

When we stopped fucking in bed
but instead hunched over like the sick

on the side of the couch, the pool table,
the front seat of your Cadillac, no longer

the passionate lovemaking of the newly
obsessed attempting to crawl into each

other’s skin—more the way a cat will play
with a mouse long after it is dead.

When I accidentally coughed up
my tongue at the dinner party. Out

it fell like a piece of veal on the mashed
potatoes. I hardly recognized it; I swallowed it

so long ago. When I realized I felt most
in love with you when I was high, after

you shared those pills with me, the chalky
marbles prescribed to the terminally ill

that made everything soft and slow.
Perhaps this was your gift to me. Perhaps

you knew all along—like a surgeon
placing the plastic mask over my mouth,

counting back from twenty—how
this was going to hurt.

- Sierra DeMulder, “When I Should Have Left”

"We wear clothes, and speak, and create civilizations, and believe we are more than wolves. But..."

Thu, 23 May 2013 20:15:59 -0400

“We wear clothes, and speak, and create civilizations, and believe we are more than wolves. But inside us there is a word we cannot pronounce and that is who we are.”

- Anthony Marra, A Constellation of Vital Phenomena (via drug-fairy)

jensensations: Ryan Gosling won’t eat his cereal (x

Thu, 23 May 2013 20:13:24 -0400

jensensations:

Ryan Gosling won’t eat his cereal (x

What fills your mind? When you walk down the sidewalk balancing your bike. When you sit alone and...

Thu, 23 May 2013 13:33:54 -0400

What fills your mind?

When you walk down the sidewalk balancing your bike.
When you sit alone and find yourself in a daze, staring at a tear in the wallpaper.
When you are watching the words spit from my lips.
When you’re just close enough to me that the scent of my hair lingers toward you.
When you find your fingers wrapped intricately between fabric, tugging at the seams of my pockets.
When I lay next to you in such weighted silence that you could count my breaths.
When I leave.

Photo

Thu, 23 May 2013 13:10:59 -0400

Today I wish I wasn’t.

Thu, 23 May 2013 09:20:26 -0400

Today I wish I wasn’t.

I wake up breathing your name.

Thu, 23 May 2013 02:43:43 -0400

I wake up breathing your name.

"Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply."

Wed, 22 May 2013 20:33:54 -0400

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”

- Stephen R. Covey (via eternalunfolding)

Lately I’ve been waking up with such soreness in my body, as if I haven’t been living in...

Wed, 22 May 2013 11:04:00 -0400

Lately I’ve been waking up with such soreness in my body, as if I haven’t been living in it the past twenty years already. As if I’m not yet adjusted to this feeling of being confined to a stiff, restrictive constitution.

I wish I was jello.

Photo

Tue, 21 May 2013 21:57:26 -0400

One day baby, we’ll be oldAnd think of all the stories...

Tue, 21 May 2013 21:44:21 -0400

One day baby, we’ll be old
And think of all the stories that we could have told

Season one, episode two. I must have watched this scene one...

Tue, 21 May 2013 20:55:00 -0400

Season one, episode two.

I must have watched this scene one hundred times now, and I just keep thinking…
Why does Dean show Haley an I.D. with Sam’s name?

I just wish I could be more. Not for you.But just for myself.

Tue, 21 May 2013 20:13:46 -0400

I just wish I could be more.

Not for you.
But just for myself.

I feel really fucking awful.

Tue, 21 May 2013 18:24:23 -0400

Over the years I’ve gotten pretty used to my own routine. I go out and socialize for a few...

Tue, 21 May 2013 18:15:09 -0400

Over the years I’ve gotten pretty used to my own routine. I go out and socialize for a few days at a time, then take a day, or sometimes a few, to just mellow out and be alone. I value this time I spend alone as a chance to recharge. The isolation allows me to feel revitalized, readying me for the social world again. It’s a pattern I’ve gotten quite good at and I can balance the two well, always knowing when I’m exhausted and when to call it quits and allow myself the chance to recuperate.

But the last few weeks have presented a challenge. I am finding myself tired, worn out. I sleep in late and feel lethargic. Yet I’ve dreaded being on my own. I go out, and I have a good time; then I feel the usual need to be on my own again. I feel the desire in me to relax for a bit. But when I get that chance, it seems the second I’m alone I can’t stand it. I’ve hardly been without company for the past 4 hours now and I am done with it. I want to be around someone. I can’t spend time with myself right now, and even in my most depressed times that’s never really been something I’ve had an issue with.

I feel like it might be because I am avoiding so much right now. My mind doesn’t have the patience to sort out what it is I need to be getting done, I just keep procrastinating and creating excuses to not be home and not be productive (in other aspects than the social). But it also seems to be tied into this deep desperate need I have to meet new people and expand myself. I feel like I need to grow, or change. Like I’ve stagnated. And really, the best way I could probably find this out is by being alone and really assessing myself. But something is stopping me. I don’t have the patience. I don’t care to look inside myself. I just want to be doing something.

I don’t know.

I should never have to apologize for asking questions.

Mon, 20 May 2013 12:04:25 -0400

I should never have to apologize for asking questions.

Mental Alchemy: Binaural Beats

Sat, 18 May 2013 22:49:39 -0400

Mental Alchemy: Binaural Beats:

kritters25:

Thanks to a classmate in my Psychophysiology of Healing class that presented his final project on binaural beats!

You probably know, your brain has two hemispheres, or sides, and that each side controls different aspects of your mind, emotions, and body; for example, the…

Photo

Sat, 18 May 2013 16:19:34 -0400

He’s so happy about it.

Sat, 18 May 2013 16:14:15 -0400

He’s so happy about it.